无老师iBT新托福作文巨讲堂(2015年01月号)

无老师优秀范例:Another reason why the statement is false is that it neglects the growing power of modern technology, which releases people from their labor and put machines and computers in places which employees originally occupy. It is a common phenomenon now that tremendous farm land are being well organized under the control of merely its owner taking advantage of the most advanced machines. Also, factories that "hires" computers to manage the mass production is no longer news. Neither of these seemed even possible only decades ago, but they now obvious examples of how a bussiness could be run without employees. 无老师优秀翻译:这个说法不成立的另外一个原因是在于,它忽略了不断发展的现代科技,他把我们人类从繁重的体力劳动之中解放出来,让机器和电脑代替了原来雇工做的事情。要知道,现在很多农场主,仅仅是通过最先进的机器就能很好的管理自己巨大的农场了。同时,那些雇佣电脑来管理生产线的工厂,已经不是很新鲜了。但是这些在10年前都是不可能的,但是在今天,他们都成了,公司如何在没有很多员工的情况下,运营的最为明显的例子了。 无老师平庸范例:This statement is wrong, and the another reason for this is that it can not see the technology is developing, and it liberates our human from hard work, and it makes machines and computers do the jobs that people do. We all know that many farm owners are managing their farms by the most advance machines. At the same time, it is not new that many people are using computers to manage the factories. But they are imposibble in many years ago, but today, they are the most obvious examples of how a company run without many people. 无老师精析:语言是什么?我们通常认为语言是一种沟通的方式,从小伙伴们学习英语的过程来看,又会觉得语言是由单词和语法堆砌出来怪物。但是当我们语言体验的够深之后,有又会觉得语言是一种约定俗成的表达方式。最后,我们或许会觉得语言是历史,文化和时间的产物,如果时间真的是一个维度的话。 其实小伙伴们从今天的优秀范文,与平庸作文的对比之中,就可以发现,语言真的不仅仅是单词和语法的堆积产品而已,哪怕用同样的单词,我们的平庸范例写的真的就是与优秀范例相去甚远,有优秀范例我们可以看出,任何一种语言都有其约定俗成的表达形式,哪怕是同一种语言,当我们不熟悉人家本来常见的表达方式,我们的平庸范例写的也是如隔靴搔痒。 本段,一共就4句。第一句,优秀范例:Another reason why the statement is false is that it neglects the growing power of modern technology, which releases people from their labor and put machines and computers in places which employees originally occupy.对比平庸范例This statement is wrong, and the another reason for this is that it can not see the technology is developing, and it liberates our human from hard work, and it makes machines and computers do the jobs that people do.从开头我们就一下能辨别出优秀范例,与平庸范例的差别,在这里平庸范例的This statement is wrong,几乎就是字对字的把单词堆砌起来的,但是优秀范例首先一个another即显示出本段是承接上一段进行进一步论述的,这一点,平庸范例根本显示不出来。其次,优秀范例对于表示对一个观点的否定的时候,用的也是false,而不是比较口语的wrong。接下来,优秀范例,在表达忽略的时候用的也是neglect,也是很书面化,加分!不仅如此,接下来,优秀范例用的growing power写的也是很贴切,而不是像平庸范例写的technology is developing句型写的这么简单和常见。而在这个时候,如果我们跳到更高的高度的话,还会发现优秀范例的Another reason why the statement is false is that it neglects这个句型一气呵成,逻辑衔接得非常好,我们可以直接抄下来,当作常用加分句式。 后半句,优秀范例选词其实一般,但是两个固定搭配很好,首先是releases ….. from…..用的很好,第二个是put ……. in places,两个固定搭配看似平庸,但是当我们把真正的平庸范例makes machines and computers do the jobs,拿过来的时候,我们就会发现,原来优秀范例写的颇有一些文绉绉的感觉!也就是把你提走了不说提走了,而是说找人替代了你的位置,言下之意,也就是这里不需要你了。而且优秀范例最后用的employees originally occupy,这里的originally occupy用的特别好,首先originally,那就说明,now,这里已经没有你的位置了。然后occupy,对应前面的place,颇有前后呼应的感觉。至于平庸范例do来,do去的,过于口语化。 第二句,优秀范例It is a common phenomenon now that tremendous farm land are being well organized under the control of merely its owner taking advantage of the most advanced machines.对比平庸范例We all know that many farm owners are managing their farms by the most advance machines.优秀范例的It is a common phenomenon now that显得非常的书面,颇有一种“纵观古今,我们都知道这样一个道理”的大会作报告的感觉扑面而来!赞~\(≧▽≦)/~!至于平庸范例的We all know that,就好像是“大伙想想,是不是这个理”口语化倾向很浓厚。接下来的tremendous farm land也就是还好。但是后面的一连串组合拳很漂亮,首先是are being well organized强调现在已经是正在实行的情况,其二,under the control of merely its owner,用介宾短语under+名词结构,而不是用很僵化的by doing。而且优秀范例最后还用了伴随状语taking advantage of,使得句式很多样化,而且其本身还是一个固定搭配take advantage of,更是给自己加分! 第三句,优秀范例Also, factories that "hires" computers to manage the mass production is no longer news.对比平庸范例At the same time, it is not new that many people are using computers to manage the factories.这里优秀范例很俏皮的用了hires,而不是buy,第一点与前面的取代了人的位置相呼应,因为hire只能hire人,但是在这里hire的是computers,其实就是在强调computers取代了人的位置。其次,mass production没有用常见的factory production,亦或者assembly line,不见得有多好,但是代表自己掌握的单词量很丰富,这也是给自己加分的。而且最后的no longer news也得很漂亮,用否定的方式,来表达肯定的意思,这个东西已经不新鲜了,也就是已经司空见惯了,更证明自己的论述很有道理。 最后一句,优秀范例Neither of these seemed even possible only decades ago, but they now obvious examples of how a bussiness could be run without employees.对比平庸范例But they are imposibble in many years ago, but today, they are the most obvious examples of how a company run without many people.首先,作者将否定词Neither放置于句首,而不是像平庸范例一样用imposibble来表示否定,比较新颖,本身就使得句式与众不同,加分!然后,表示几十年之前,也没有用many years ago这样很常见的方式,而是直接秀了一下词汇量,用了decade这个词“10年”,词汇量赞!最后的亮点,就是在于but they now obvious examples of这个链接的很好,首先用they,呼应前文,然后用obvious examples of引导出自己的例子来支持自己的观点,浑然天成!而且优秀范例最后还用到了employee这个词,看似平淡无奇,但是反观平庸范例的用的是many people,顿觉得优秀范例用词准确。 【作文巨讲堂使用指南】 http://www.ibtsat.com/archives/6510  2015年新气象!接受小伙伴们建议,特开一个邮箱,小伙伴来中译英,欢迎小伙伴们把自己翻译成优秀范文的作文发到这个由阝箱lovewulaoshi @ Q Q.co m ,无老师会在下个月的作文巨讲堂之中,筛选本月的优秀翻译作文,放出来,供大家欣赏。