无老师优秀范例:Secondly, the professor argues that harmful minerals and chemicals will spread out through water even if the mining spot is within two thousand kilometers from the volcanic vent. And these minerals and chemicals would drift back towards the vent, which means that the ecosystems near the vent would be disturbed and the consequences are long-term. The reading passage, by comparison, suggests that ecosystems nearby would not be affected.
无老师优秀中文翻译:第二点,教授认为有害的矿物质和化学物质将会通过水进行扩散,哪怕采矿点是在火山口2000米之内。这些矿物质和化学物质会飘回火山口,这意味着火山口附近的生态系统将会被打乱,这个影响,将是长期的。阅读文章,比较之下,指出附近的生态系统不会受到影响。
无老师平庸范例:Secondly,the professor thinks bad minerals and chemicals will go away through water, no matter the mining point is less than 2000 meters from the volcanic vent. The minerals and chemicals would fly back to the volcanic vent, and this implies that the animals and plants will be destroyed by the minerals and chemicals, and this will be a long time. The reading passage, in comparison, points that the near minerals and chemicals will not be effect.
无老师平时写的平庸范例,很少会加入语法错误,今天努力了一下,加入了一些特别常见的语法错误,主要是让同志们感受一下,有些考友的问题所在,真的不是一个模板就能解决的。
不过无老师在这里也特别提一下,很多考友总是反映自己的综合作文莫名其妙得了fair,在这种情况下,往往是听力不给力,但是一看听力分数,也是飚出了接近满分的分数。其实这种情况,就很有可能是对于听力的内容还原的不全,我们只要看一下原文就会发现,其实听力内容,很多时候,逻辑链还是挺长的,但是有些考友,往往只写了逻辑链的三分之二,里面还剩下很重要的推导过程,没有写上,分数就自然也会被切一刀的。综合作文要想得高分,遣词造句要准确,对于内容的还原也要完整!
好了,回头说今天的作文巨讲堂。
综合作文第一句Secondly, the professor argues that harmful minerals and chemicals will spread out through water even if the mining spot is within two thousand kilometers from the volcanic vent.对比平庸范例Secondly,the professor thinks bad minerals and chemicals will go away through water, no matter the mining point is less than 2000 meters from the volcanic vent.显然平庸范例的bad、go away和no matter写的都是驴唇不对马嘴,根本都没有准确还原原文的意思,各位考友一定要注意!首先在优秀范例之中,首先要特别注意的是作者写的是the professor argues,这里的argue不是争论的意思,而是认为的意思,这一点各位考友要特别注意!其后,优秀范例也没有像平庸范例那样很土的用了bad,这个词,而是羞答答的用了harmful,恩,隐忍,而且准确多了!然后接下来优秀范例用了spread out这个表达方式,给人一种如水波纹一般飘飘荡荡,向外散播的感觉,准确!而且优秀范例还用到了托福阅读里常用的spot,高端!大气!上档次!
优秀范例第二句And these minerals and chemicals would drift back towards the vent, which means that the ecosystems near the vent would be disturbed and the consequences are long-term.,对比平庸范例The minerals and chemicals would fly back to the volcanic vent, and this implies that the animals and plants will be destroyed by the minerals and chemicals, and this will be a long time.在这句的平庸范例里,倒是没什么错,但是the animals and plants总还是稍有曲解的感觉,以及最后的this will be a long time,也总是有那么一点点怪怪的,因为这里的this指代的不是很清晰,而且long time和long-term的意思还是有本质上的差别的。至于这里优秀范例的优点,首先在于drift特指的是飘动~~~~~,这跟fly相比,显然意思表达的更准确,灰尘又不是动物,怎么会飞翔呢。而且towards相比于to,不仅有方向感,还有一种运动的延续性,这是to这个词没有的。而且优秀范例还用了非限定性定语从句which,使得句子的逻辑连续性很棒!不过至于后面的ecosystems、disturbed、和consequence,只能算是中规中矩,正常水平。
至于优秀范例的最后一句The reading passage, by comparison, suggests that ecosystems nearby would not be affected.这里的by comparison显得很俏皮,可以拿来当做模板来使用。^_^