无老师满分范例：Another reason is that modern people are more effective than those in the past. And great efficiency is one fundamental way to success. We are able to make use of many tools increasing productivity today. For instance, the computer plays an important role in our life in terms of efficiency. As I want to search material concerning the “nuclear energy”, all I have to do is to type this term on Google and a great number of sources will pop out on the screen. Given the past, I had to go to the library and bury me a couple of days looking for the information on nuclear energy without the assistance of computers. The distance is conspicuous, thus modern people with advanced technology would succeed more readily.
无老师优秀翻译：另外一个原因是现代的人比之前的人效率会更高。更好的效率是成功的一个关键因素。我们今天可以更好地使用工具来提高我们的效率。比如，电脑就在增加我们效率这方面上起到了很重要的作用。当我想搜寻关于核能源的材料的时候，我所需要做的所有的事情就是将这个词输入google，然后接下来很多的资料就会呈现在我的屏幕上。如果是在过去，我就不得不去图书馆，把自己埋在资料堆里好几天来寻找关于核能源的信息，如果没有电脑帮助的话。这里的差距很明显，因此拥有高科技的当代人将会更容易成功。
无老师平庸范例：Another reason is that the modern people have more efficiency than the past people. The better efficiency is important to success. Today, we may use the computer to improve our efficiency. For example, the computer is very important to our success. When I want to find the “nuclear energy” material, all I need to do is imputing the word in the google, and then the information will show from the screen. If we lived in the past, we have to go to the library to find the information about the “nuclear energy”, because we have the computer. The difference is very obvious, so the modern people who have high technology would easier to be successful.
无老师精析：本篇作文的第一段和第二段水平欠佳，因此被无老师忽略，直接从第三段开始为大家展示。
首先第一句：优秀范例很赞！Another reason is that modern people are more effective than those in the past.对比平庸范例Another reason is that the modern people have more efficiency than the past people.显然这里的差别只在最后一点，也就是优秀范例写的是in the past，平庸范例写的是the past people。这里的差别主要在于past当做形容词来用的时候表示的是“刚过去的”，或者“以前的”总有一点“按照时间顺序的前面的几位”这样一种感觉，因此实际上，我们很少把它当做形容词来使用，在真正写作文的时候，我们大多数情况下用的还是in the past这种表达方法。
第二句就厉害了。优秀范例写的是And great efficiency is one fundamental way to success.平庸范例写的是The better efficiency is important to success.首先优秀返利的great就比平庸范例的better要好，因为great本身就有一种“比平庸的更好一点”的这种感觉，因此平庸范例的better就显得画蛇添足了。而且优秀范例的one fundamental way为我们的important开辟了一种新的表达方法，显得比较新颖，因为“更根本性的”方式，也就是“更重要的”方式。
第三句：优秀范例是We are able to make use of many tools increasing productivity today.再来看平庸范例Today, we may use the computer to improve our efficiency.这里的差别主要在于优秀范例用了make use of这个固定搭配。而且人们往往注意不到的是优秀范例还用了非谓语动词increasing，使得整个句子的逻辑性非常的连贯。
第四句优秀范例又发威了For instance, the computer plays an important role in our life in terms of efficiency.对比平庸范例For example, the computer is very important in the efficiency.显然优秀范例的plays an important role这个固定搭配用的很给力，而且最后的in terms of也是我们平时很难用到的，其实它往往可以直接换用in，但是我们一定要注意使用的语境，往往是表达“在……方面”的时候，才进行换用。
第五句优秀范例也是写的很给力As I want to search material concerning the “nuclear energy”, all I have to do is to type this term on Google and a great number of sources will pop out on the screen.平庸范例则是完败！When I want to find the “nuclear energy” material, all I need to do is imputing the word in the google, and then the information will show from the screen.优秀范例的As这个词不见得高级，但是贵在用词的多样化。然后优秀范例的material concerning the “nuclear energy”表示的是关于核能的相关信息和数据，但是平庸范例的“nuclear energy” material则有可能让人误解是制作核能的原材料。而且优秀范例的term这个词意思是“名词”就显得比平庸范例的“word”更为书面化，也更为准确。最后优秀范例的“pop out”更是显得十分的地道，而且有动感，可以说完胜平庸范例的show这个词。
然后下面的优秀范例“Given the past, I had to go to the library and bury me a couple of days looking for the information on nuclear energy without the assistance of computers.”也是比平庸范例的If we lived in the past, we have to go to the library to find the information about the “nuclear energy”, because we have the computer.漂亮很多。首先优秀范例头部的Given the past就用到了Given，表示“如果有（机会等）”的意思，这里也就是“如果是在过去”，显然比平庸范例的If we lived in the past漂亮多了。而且优秀范例的bury me a couple of days looking for写的也是十分的传神，颇似我们经常说的“把自己埋在书堆里”的感觉。只是优秀范例最后的without the assistance of computers虽然without用的简洁有力，但是稍显画蛇添足，其实去掉也是可以的。
至于最后一句话，优秀范例“The distance is conspicuous, thus modern people with advanced technology would succeed more readily. ”对比平庸范例The difference is very obvious, so the modern people who have high technology would easier to be successful.则是亮点不多。只是在advanced technology比平庸范例的high technology显得更地道，还有就是在最后的more readily显然比平庸范例的单纯的easier用词更为多样化。
无老师满分范例：The statement itself underlies a serious mistake – the very purpose of teaching and schooling, and education on a bigger scale, is better performance of all students. Common sense informs me that education, and teachers’ responsibility in particular, should be intended to build up students’ confidence in exploring and discovering unknown respects as well as specific skills required to accomplish that. Such standard is often broad and abstract in contrast to the narrowness and rigidity of the criterion – students’ performance. If teachers’ salary is determined by the students’ performance, this hint would destroy the long-term function of schooling and education since the system is short-sightedly targeted at improving students’ performance.
无老师优秀中文翻译：这样的陈述本身就有一个很大的错误，教学、学校教育本身的目的很大程度上来说，是所有学生应该整体的表现更好。常识告诉我们教育，尤其是老师的责任，应该是帮助学生建立自己在探索和发现未知领域和实现这些未知目标的所需要的特殊技能的自信心。这个的标准（探索未知领域）是宽泛的而且抽象的，与狭隘的和死板的学生分数这样一个标准恰恰相反。如果教师的薪水是由学生的表现所决定的，这样的暗示将会损害学校和教育的长远作用，因为这样的教育体系会很短视的将目标定位于提高学生的分数这一点上。
无老师平庸范例：This idea has a big wrong mistake, the purpose of the teaching, school, and education in a large extent is that all the students will have a good behavior. Everyone knows that education, particularly the duty of teachers, is helping the students to build the confidence in building their own ability of exploring and finding the unknown area and the unknown target. The standard is very wide and abstract, which are against the standard of the students’ score’s narrowness and rigidity. If the teachers’ wages is controlled by the students’ score, this means this will destroy the long effect of the school and the education, because the system will short-sightly focus on the improvement of the students’ score.
无老师精析：有的作文胜在固定搭配，有的作文胜在句式，这篇作文则是生在用词，在写平庸范例的过程中就很明显的发现，其他的作文我们可以很轻易的写出很烂的平庸范例，但是这篇文章我们却很难做到这一点，貌似只要是按照中文翻译来写，我们就只能写出与原文极为相似的文章。为什么呢？反思过后，发现本篇文章的优点就是在于用词准确，甚至可以成为精准！只要是用到一个词，它则是没有其他任何可以替代的单词，真是令人啧啧称奇！不过无老师到这里必须问一句：在没有中文翻译的情况下，你真的看懂优秀范文在说什么了么？
第一句：优秀范例飚出The statement itself underlies a serious mistake – the very purpose of teaching and schooling, and education on a bigger scale, is better performance of all students.从句式上来讲，平庸范例没有什么变化，只有在用词上小有变化。This idea has a big mistake, the purpose of the teaching, school, and education in a large extent is that all the students will have a good behavior.这里显然优秀范例用到了underlie这个词，这是我们很少用到的，平庸范例，只能勉强用到have这个词。其后的on a bigger scale则是写得很棒，对于前文进行进一步的修饰，要不是优秀范例里用到了这个表达方法，平庸范例很难写出来。
接下来优秀范例说的是Common sense informs me that education, and teachers’ responsibility in particular, should be intended to build up students’ confidence in exploring and discovering unknown respects as well as specific skills required to accomplish that.对比平庸范例everyone knows that education, particularly the duty of teachers, is helping the students to build the confidence in building their own ability of exploring and finding the unknown area and the unknown target.优秀范例引入了Common sense，想一想我们平时也都是很机械的写出everyone knows，水平差距太大，实在是羞愧！然后优秀范例又用了in particular进行强调，不禁要问，平时我们怎么就想不到呢？！其后的也是一样build up one’s confidence与unknown respect还有required to accomplish that都是很好地表达方法，不得不赞叹，优秀作文的中文功底也是了得啊！
第三句优秀范例再出撒手锏Such standard is often broad and abstract in contrast to the narrowness and rigidity of the criterion – students’ performance.对比平庸范例The standard is very wide and abstract, which are against the standard of the students’ score’s narrowness and rigidity.虽然两者之间没有什么差别，但是实际上还是因为优秀范例的用词太到位了！就像在伟人的带领下，我们永远都不会跑进烂泥沟一样，平庸范例也是不那么平庸了。而且貌似这句话可以当模板用，只需要把里面的students’ performance换为你想批判的主题即可。
最后一句话，优秀范文写的是If teachers’ salary is determined by the students’ performance, this hint would destroy the long-term function of schooling and education since the system is short-sightedly targeted at improving students’ performance.对比平庸范例If the teachers’ wages is controlled by the students’ score, this means this will destroy the long effect of the school and the education, because the system will short-sightly focus on the improvement of the students’ score.必须承认，优秀范文的hint这个词用得太残暴了！貌似是很多人这辈子都没想过用这个词！如果将this hint would翻译的比较到位的话，可以翻译为these events would lead to……太残暴了！太残暴了！优秀范文的功力非我等可以企及！其后的long-term与short-sightedly不仅用词准确，而且形成某种意义上的对比，真是令我等屌丝敬佩啊！有幸得赏此文，真乃幸事！
优秀范文真的是中文功底太到位了，再绝配上优秀的英文表达，望尘莫及！望尘莫及！这篇文章看看，能借用几个表达就好了，不要期望全盘模仿了，太难了。
无老师满分范例：The advices from our grandparents have no use for their grandchildren for the world has changed a lot in the past 50 years.
Recently, there has been a controversial topic debated by a lot of people about whether our grandparents are too out-of-date to give us advices concerning our problems. In my opinion, I still regard our grandparents as great tutors for our life in many aspects.
In the first place, some basic rules which have a great impact on people’s daily lives never changed as time flies. For example, appropriate behaviors in an official dinner or in an important interview which are often neglected by younger generations would sometimes leave others a great first impression. In such aspects, certain rules such as dressing codes as well as exact method of using forks and knives didn’t change in the last 50 years and probably will not change in the next century. I firmly believe that our grandparents could give us perfect advices concerning such information with experience accumulated for decades. Apart from basic routines when studying or working in a society, more mental tutoring can be provided by the older generation. For instance, when we are in an extremely down mood owing to all the depressions and frustrations received in schools or jobs, grandparents are always the best people we can go for comforts, love and most importantly some advices, which would not only give us some guidance for recovery but also more confidence for the lives in the future. What’s more, some education and advices that require decades of practical experience cannot be gained from other places but our grandparents, to name a few, how to maintain a good relationship with our supervisors and peers, how to stay humble and how to make a change when facing difficulties.
Admittedly, when given new objects, our grandparents could not alter to the new trends as we could, thus not being able to provide useful suggestions. For example, during the past 50 years, we came through the age of electricity and stepped into the era of information. Internet, smart phones and computers are filled in every corner of our daily lives. We have to admit that grandparents would not be able to give suggestions when we are in trouble with these new technologies or when we are in problems with specific characteristics of this generation. For instance, grandparents would not know how to give us advice about how to shop on the internet or how to handle an instant messenger. However, this would not constrain their capabilities of showing their wisdom in issues when we need them most.
All in all, although great changes have happened in the past 50 years, which would bring difficulties for our grandparents to give us tutoring in some aspects, they are still the best ones we could turn to for guidance whenever we are mentally weak or are in need for help from practical experience.
无老师优秀中文翻译：最近，有一个有争议的话题正在被很多人讨论，就是我们的祖辈是否是太过时了以至于不能对于我们的问题给出建议。在我看来，我仍然坚持祖辈在很多方面仍然是我们最好的人生导师。
第一点，对我们每日生活产生巨大影响的基本规则并未随着时间而改变。例如，经常被年青一代所忽略的在正式晚宴和重要访问上的得体的行为，有时会给人留下深刻的第一印象。在这些方面上，某些规则比如穿衣的规则，和使用刀叉的具体的方式，在过去五十年里没有改变过，而且很有可能在下个世纪也不会改变。我坚定地相信我们的祖辈会根据他们积累了几十年的经验给我们一些关于这些问题的完美建议。当我们在社会中学习和工作的时候，除了一些传统的途径，老一辈的人还会给我们一些精神上的指导。比如当我们因为在学校和工作中的一些沮丧和挫折而陷入极度的低沉的情绪之中，祖辈往往是最合适的人，可以给我们安慰、爱，以及最重要的建议，这不仅会给在恢复的路上给我们一些指引，同时也会给我们未来的路更多的信心。不仅如此，有些教育和建议是需要几十年的实际经验的，这都是除了我们的祖辈之外的其他地方都不会给我们的，比如如何确定一些细节，比如如何与上级和同事维持很好的关系，如何保持谦逊，以及当我们遇到困难的时候如何做出应对。
不过必须承认，当具体到新兴事物的时候，我们的祖辈并不能像我们一样很快的转向新的趋势，因此不能给我们有效的建议。比如，在过去50年里，我们经历了电力时代，进入了信息时代。互联网、智能手机、电脑充斥在我们日常生活的每一个角落。我们必须承认祖辈不能给我们建议，当我们在新技术面前束手无策的时候，亦或者是当我们在我们这一代所独有的特性的时候，祖辈也不能给建议。比如，祖辈对于如何在互联网上购物以及如何使用即时通讯工具这一点上就不知道怎么给我们建议。但是，在当我们最需要他们的时候，这一切的一些都不会限制他们显示出自己在处理复杂问题上的智慧的能力。
总而言之，虽然过去五十年已经发生了巨变，这些变革都会对祖辈给我们从这些方面指导产生一些干扰，他们仍然是最好的，我们可以寻求建议的导师，无论是我们在意志上很忧伤，亦或者是需要实践经验的时候。
无老师平庸范例：Recently, there is a controversial issue debated by many people, which is our grandparents are too old to give useful advices about our trouble. As far as I concern, I still think that our grandparents are still our best teachers in many fields.
Firstly, the rules which affect our life importantly do not change with the time changes. For example, the right behavior in the formal dinner and important interview which is often ignored by the young people sometimes may make a deep impression. In these fields, the way, such dressing manner or the way that we use knife and fork, does not change in the last 50 years, and may not change in the next century. I strongly believe that my grandparents will give me some prefect advices by the several years experience. When we study and work in the society, except the old ways, our grandparents will give us some spirit guide. For example, when we met some depression or frustration in school or work, we may turn into bad feeling, at this time, grandparents would be the best people who can give us comfort, love and some important advices. These would not only give some advices on our way to recovery, but also give us more confidence for the future. Besides, some education and advices need many years’ experience which could not provided by anyone but our grandparents, such as how to make sure some details, how to talk to boss or colleague to make a good relationship, how to keep modest, how to handle when we met some difficulties.
Admittedly, when we talk about the new things, our grandparents could not turn to the new trends, so they could not give useful advices. For example, in the past 50 years, we have experienced Electric Power Age towards the Information Age. The internet, cell-phone, and computer fill in each corner of our life. We have admitted that our grandparents could not give our advices, when we could not do anything in front of new technology, or when we face the new feature that are created in our generation. For example, grandparents could not give our advices on how to buy things on the internet, or on how to use the instant messenger. But, when we need them, all of these would not limit the talent of how they solve the complex problems.
All in all, even though there are lots of changes in the past 50 years, and these changes may affect the advices from our grandparents, grandparents are still the best teachers who we can ask advices in any time that we are very upset, or at the time that we need real experience.
第一段优秀范例彪悍的抛出Recently, there has been a controversial topic debated by a lot of people about whether our grandparents are too out-of-date to give us advices concerning our problems.看上去好像平淡无奇，但是在对比一下平庸范例Recently, there is a controversial issue debated by many people, which is our grandparents are too old to give useful advices about our trouble.就会发现原来优秀范例的about whether，其实比平庸范例的which is连接的更为顺畅，而且优秀范例的out-of-date也比平庸范例的old显得更为准确，确实不愧是优秀范例，然后我们竟然偶发现，平庸范例里，我们平时经常写的about其实是可以换位优秀范例里的concerning，顿时觉得，我们又掌握了一把好用的武器。
至于第一段最后一句话，优秀范例写的是In my opinion, I still regard our grandparents as great tutors for our life in many aspects.对比平庸范例As far as I concern, I still think that our grandparents are still our best teachers in many fields.显然great tutors是最大的亮点，因为在欧美tutor这个词往往指的是大学里面的助教，颇有手把手指导你的意思，因此特别的形象贴切！
第二段第一句优秀范例是In the first place, some basic rules which have a great impact on people’s daily lives never changed as time flies.对比平庸范例Firstly, the rules which affect our life importantly do not change with the time changes.这里优秀范例的In the first place显得词汇量更丰富一点。而且basic与daily两个限定词，使优秀范例显得特别的具体，准确。而且优秀范例最后的never changed与as time flies“永远不会改变”和“随着时间飞逝”使得文字颇有一点文学化的色彩，显得作者的阅读量不错。
然后优秀范例的例子来啦！For example, appropriate behaviors in an official dinner or in an important interview which are often neglected by younger generations would sometimes leave others a great first impression.对比平庸范例For example, the right behavior in the formal dinner and important interview which is often ignored by the young people sometimes may make a deep impression.对比平庸范例的right behavior，我们就会发现优秀范例的appropriate behaviors显得优秀范例的appropriate用的更准确，而不像是平庸范例的right这么泛泛。接下来平庸范例的young people对比优秀范例的younger generations也是同样的问题，就是词汇的指代太泛泛了，一点都不具体。至于优秀范例的leave others a great first impression则是写得很漂亮，给谁留下深刻的印象，用了一个leave，颇有意犹未尽的感觉。
下一句，优秀范例In such aspects, certain rules such as dressing codes as well as exact method of using forks and knives didn’t change in the last 50 years and probably will not change in the next century.对比平庸范例In these fields, the way, such dressing manner or the way that we use knife and fork, does not change in the last 50 years, and may not change in the next century.显然优秀范例的dressing codes写的很地道！code在这里取“行为准则”的意思。然后优秀范例又用了exact来修饰method，而不是单纯的像平庸范例用了一个way就敷衍过去，而且在这里，优秀范例的整个主语写的很饱满！certain rules such as dressing codes as well as exact method of using forks and knives整个是一个完整的主语，增加了句子的多样性的同时，也丰富了写作的细节！不仅如此，优秀范例又写了and probably will not change in the next century.来对前面的last 50 years进行扩展，一下使得优秀范例的视野闲得很宽阔，而且也显示出自己思想的饱满。
下一句，优秀范例写的是I firmly believe that our grandparents could give us perfect advices concerning such information with experience accumulated for decades.对比平庸范例I strongly believe that my grandparents will give me some prefect advices by the several years experience.首先优秀范例的firmly显然比strongly更加的书面一点！然后再接下来亮点就在优秀范例的修饰部分了！concerning such information with experience accumulated for decades，首先用concerning such information与前文的内容进行呼应，然后又用experience来解决，而且这个experience还是一个后置定语，也就是accumulated for decades积累了数十年的经验。再来对比平庸范例，就会觉得平庸范例的by the several years experience显得那么的中规中矩，根本没有句式的变化。
然后下面一句话，优秀范例Apart from basic routines when studying or working in a society, more mental tutoring can be provided by the older generation.对比平庸范例When we study and work in the society, except the old ways, our grandparents will give us some spirit guide.首先优秀范例用了Apart from与前文进行一个承接，然后引出新的一个主题，而且新的主题又用more来进行修饰，来将不同作用的级别进行了一个划分，使得文章很具有可读性，然后mental tutoring显然就比平庸范例的一个单纯的guide更具有准确性，因为guide，“指路”也是guide，学习方向的指导也是guide，甚至路边的指南手册都能是guide，显然guide范围太广，这里的tutor显然就更倾向于学术上的引导，因此更为准确。
然后本段倒数第二句，优秀范例For instance, when we are in an extremely down mood owing to all the depressions and frustrations received in schools or jobs, grandparents are always the best people we can go for comforts, love and most importantly some advices, which would not only give us some guidance for recovery but also more confidence for the lives in the future.对比平庸范例For example, when we met some depression or frustration in school or work, we may turn into bad feeling, at this time, grandparents would be the best people who can give us comfort, love and some important advices. These would not only give some advices on our way to recovery, but also give us more confidence for the future.首先extremely down mood这种表达方式与传统的bad feeling不同，增加了多样性，然后优秀作文用了go for这个表达方式，表示“寻求、追求”的意思，显得很地道。
第一段最后一句，优秀范文What’s more, some education and advices that require decades of practical experience cannot be gained from other places but our grandparents, to name a few, how to maintain a good relationship with our supervisors and peers, how to stay humble and how to make a change when facing difficulties.对比平庸范例Besides, some education and advices need many years’ experience which could not provided by anyone but our grandparents, such as how to make sure some details, how to talk to boss or colleague to make a good relationship, how to keep modest, how to handle when we met some difficulties.优秀范例首先发力，用decade显示出自己能驾驭更多的词汇，比平庸范例many years显得更正式。然后优秀范例和平庸范例共同用了一个not…but…的固定搭配，显得很有默契。然后再接下来，优秀范例的maintain a good relationship虽然不见的高明，但是毕竟增加了句子的多样性，至少也不坏，但是平庸范例的how to talk to就显得过于口语化了。不过接下来优秀范例用的stay humble就很地道了，一定要学会！最后优秀范例的make a change when facing difficulties虽然不见得多高明，但是make a change这样的表达方法我们就是想不到。
第三段第一句话，优秀范例Admittedly, when given new objects, our grandparents could not alter to the new trends as we could, thus not being able to provide useful suggestions.对比平庸范例Admittedly, when we talk about the new things, our grandparents could not turn to the new trends, so they could not give useful advices.首先优秀范例在when的从句里面进行了省略，只留给我们一个done的非谓语动词，然后又用new object相比于平庸范例的new thing这么大众化的单词，更为书面一点。
第二句话，优秀范例For example, during the past 50 years, we came through the age of electricity and stepped into the era of information. Internet, smart phones and computers are filled in every corner of our daily lives.对比平庸范例For example, in the past 50 years, we have experienced Electric Power Age towards the Information Age. The internet, cell-phone, and computer fill in each corner of our life.虽然优秀范例的came through并没有比平庸范例的experience，但是本篇文章当中出现了太多次experience了，因此出现了词汇替换，是加分点！然后接下来优秀范例stepped into the era of information对比平庸范例towards the Information Age，显然stepped into将时间加入了一点拟人化的感觉，而且后面用era来替代age，也是增加了词汇的多样性。最后的filled in every corner，虽然平庸范例也是这样写的，但是这主要是由于优秀范例本身的意境已经很好了，只要逐字逐句的翻译过来，必然是这样的表达方法，如果是我们自己写，很有可能写的是everywhere这样的大众词汇。
下面一句话优秀范例We have to admit that grandparents would not be able to give suggestions when we are in trouble with these new technologies or when we are in problems with specific characteristics of this generation.对比平庸范例We have admitted that our grandparents could not give our advices, when we could not do anything in front of new technology, or when we face the new feature that are created in our generation.优秀范例的亮点不多，仅有in trouble with这个固定搭配。和specific characteristics是内容写的很具体，很有说服力。
倒数第二段最后2句，优秀范例For instance, grandparents would not know how to give us advice about how to shop on the internet or how to handle an instant messenger. However, this would not constrain their capabilities of showing their wisdom in issues when we need them most.对比平庸范例For example, grandparents could not give our advices on how to buy things on the internet, or on how to use the instant messenger. But, when we need them, all of these would not limit the talent of how they solve the complex problems.优秀范例第一句话，首先是shop的动词名词化，然后对比平庸范例的use，我们发现这里的handle，写的很书面，再就是instant messenger让我们知道了QQ这样的即时通讯工具该怎么说。但是最后一句就写得超赞了！优秀范例想到了constrain 和capabilities这两个词，让平庸范例望尘莫及！然后再接下来对于“解决问题”，优秀范例又用了很文学化的表达方式“在处理问题时，显示出自己的智慧”showing their wisdom in issues，别说是英文，就连中文，我们都不一定能想出，真的是令人佩服！到这里估计很多筒子也就理解了，无老师曾经说过的：“托福考试是一个能力考试，就告诉你题目是《荷塘月色》，你真的能写出《荷塘月色》的水平么”这句话的含义了，很多考友都会找机经，但是机经到底作用几何，面对托福考试的时候，我们要仔细想想。
文章最后一段，优秀范例一气呵成All in all, although great changes have happened in the past 50 years, which would bring difficulties for our grandparents to give us tutoring in some aspects, they are still the best ones we could turn to for guidance whenever we are mentally weak or are in need for help from practical experience.对比平庸范例All in all, even though there are lots of changes in the past 50 years, and these changes may affect the advices from our grandparents, grandparents are still the best teachers who we can ask advices in any time that we are very upset, or at the time that we need real experience. 优秀范例首先将动词change名词化！亮点！时间in the past 50 years，具体且明确！亮点！tutor又是动词名词化！亮点！the best ones强调主题，也就是grandparent的重要性！亮点！turn to固定搭配！亮点！名词guidance，而不是反复的用help，词汇多样化，亮点！whenever能使用的词汇量很丰富！亮点！mentally weak表示情绪上的低沉，简单明快，表达方式新颖！亮点！are in need for固定搭配，且把need名词化，亮点！最后practical experience强调具体的实践经验，写得具体实际，就好像把对手拉到自己的战场上，然后用对这块战场丰富的经验，轻易的消灭对方！亮点！ 显然作者最后一段虽然不见得是费尽心机，但是亮点如此密集地呈现在我们的面前，怎能不得到高分！
无老师满分范例：It is undeniable that communication skill has vital functions in people’s success. For instance, in many business conferences, fluent and effective communication ability would always leave a good first impression on other people and help to establish a reliable relationship among business partners. Also, in political negotiations, possessing of a solid oral expression would give the government more lead in negotiation and prevent possible misunderstandings when discussing specific details. As is shown in all the examples above, good communication skill would bring great benefits for people when they are in an actual career thus giving them more chances to open the gate of success.
无老师优秀中文翻译：我们不可否认的是交流的能力在人的成功上有重要的作用。比如，在很多商务会议上，流畅的和高效的沟通能力常常会给其他人留下深刻的印象，会对你在商业伙伴之间建立一个牢靠的关系有所帮助。同样的，在政治谈判中，如果有一个坚定的语言表示将会在谈判中给政府带来更多的优势，以及可以防止有可能的误解当讨论特定的细节的时候。就像上面所有的例子所述，良好的沟通技能将会给人们带来很多的益处当他们进入真实的工作岗位的时候，会给他们提供更多的去打开成功大门的机会。
无老师平庸范例：We can not deny that the ability of communication is very important in the success. For example, in many business meeting, good and high effective ability of communication would give people deep feeling, this will make a stable relationship among the business workers. At the same time, in the political meeting, if you have a stable word, this will give government more advantage, and this will avoid some wrong understanding when we talk about some details. Just what I said above, good communication will bring many benefits when they come in to the work, and this will give them more chance to open success door.
好吧，这次平庸范例写的下手太狠了。看完之后如果吐了，大家可以买3瓶“泻停封”试一下，如果不行的话，请买第四瓶。-_-!!!不过其实这个平庸范例由于是无底线写的，反倒是写出了一些中国考友常见的错误，咱们下面就仔细的剖析一下两者的区别。
首先第一句：优秀范例写的是It is undeniable that communication skill has vital functions in people’s success.。对比平庸范例We can not deny that the ability of communication is very important in the success.两者对比，就表达方式上来说，在It is undeniable that与We can not deny that这个环节上两者差别不大。但是后面优秀范例的vital functions显然就比平庸范例的very important在词汇量上略大一些。
第二句，优秀范例For instance, in many business conferences, fluent and effective communication ability would always leave a good first impression on other people and help to establish a reliable relationship among business partners.对比平庸范例For example, in many business meeting, good and high effective ability of communication would give people deep feeling, this will make a stable relationship among the business workers.首先，显然优秀范例的conference比平庸范例的meeting更为准确一些，因为meeting表意很宽泛，可以表示会议，也可以表示集会，显然没有conference准确。接下来是一个很精彩的点，优秀范例写的是fluent and effective，对比平庸范例good and high effective。首先优秀范例的fluent这个词用得很准确，也显示作者的单词量很好。不过最精彩的是在后面！平庸范例的high effective相信是很多人常用的表达方式，但是我们会发现优秀范例竟然没有high。这其实就是典型的语言上的差别，亦或者说我们的单词书翻译的不准确，其实在英语里，effective这个单词本身就可以表示“高效率的”这层含义，完全没有必要再加上high，但是在背单词的时候，我们却不知道这个单词本身是有倾向性的，这就是为什么我们写不出地道的英文的一个原因。同理，低效的，也不是low effective，而是Inefficient。然后接下来优秀范例还为我们展示出“给人留下深刻的印象”，不是give people deep feeling，而是leave a good first impression on，固定搭配哦，亲们要记牢。最后优秀范例还有一个亮点就是“建立一个牢靠的关系”，作者十分到位的用了establish这个词，这个词给人的感觉就是，从无到有，一点一滴的积累而成，这里用来与“关系”这个词搭配，显得十分准确！
第三句，优秀范例Also, in political negotiations, possessing of a solid oral expression would give the government more lead in negotiation and prevent possible misunderstandings when discussing specific details.，对比平庸范例At the same time, in the political meeting, if you have a stable word, this will give government more advantage, and this will avoid some wrong understanding when we talk about some details.首先在这里，优秀范例用了一个小also，看似平淡无奇，但是很好的将前后两句话的逻辑串联了起来，颇有四两拨千斤的感觉。然后接下来优秀范例，又用了一个很精准的词negotiation将平庸范例所写的meeting范围大大缩小为“谈判”，一下子剑拔弩张的感觉就出来了。然后接下来，优秀范例的solid oral expression其实不是很地道，但是possessing of却是用的不错，很准确的表达出了“拥有XXX能力的感觉”。然后接下来，其实平庸范例已经写得很好了give government more advantage，但是优秀范例，竟然将lead这个常见的动词给名词化，来表示“领先位置”，还真的是棋高一招！在这后面，优秀范例写出了prevent possible misunderstandings，本身一个possible已经写得很漂亮了，表示这个误解有可能出现，也有可能不出现，用的很准确。然后接下来一个misunderstandings用的貌似平淡无奇，但是我们对比平庸范例的wrong understanding就发现我们其实平时写了如此之多的中式英语！人家英语里根本就不用wrong understanding这种表达方式，人家本身就有一个固定的词misunderstanding来表达了，只怪我们对英语太不了解了。最后优秀范例又用了一个小词specific来表示特定的，具体的细节，显得很准确。
最后一句话，优秀范例As is shown in all the examples above, good communication skill would bring great benefits for people when they are in an actual career thus giving them more chances to open the gate of success.对比平庸范例Just what I said above, good communication will bring many benefits when they come in to the work, and this will give them more chance to open success door.首先，优秀范例的they are in an actual career虽然写的也很生硬，但是比平庸范例的come in to the work还是稍好一点。然后优秀范例的亮点来了！优秀范例写的是thus giving them对比平庸范例and this will give them显然优秀范例thus+doing这样的连接，使前后逻辑连接的非常紧密！反观平庸范例的and this will give就显得中庸，但又让人提不起丝毫的兴趣。最后优秀范例用的是gate对比平庸范例的door，显然gate就有城门的厚重感，衬托出success的艰难，显得十分到位！
无老师满分范例：Another thing to be worried about the statement is that, if actually carried out, both teachers and students would be cast into the irrational pursuit for performance thus results in serious problems. For example, a teacher evaluated in this way is immediately forced to make the decision: to push her class toward the best performance or at least better than the worst-performing class, and show preference to students who perform well. Such measures might be incentives for a better grade, but the teacher and the students would lose their original motivation in schooling as performance becomes the one and only purpose. Also, consequent competition among students would place heavy pressure on every student, and the ones who do not perform well would be neglected by the teacher and fall into upset. Considering all the disastrous effect such measure could incur, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid on the basis of students’ performance.
无老师优秀中文翻译：另外一个关于这个想法需要担心的就是，如果真的实行的话，老师和学生都将会进入一个非理性的对于表现的追求，因此会导致很严重的问题。比如，一个老师以这种方式评价的话，会立即被迫做出这样的决定：督促自己的班级尽力的去表现，或者比表现最差的班级好一点，而且更喜欢那些表现很好的学生。这样的衡量的方式或许会成为追求更高的分数的推手，但是老师和学生都失去了上学的最原始的动机，当表现成为一个同时也是唯一的动机的时候。同样的，接下来的学生间的竞争将会对每个学生都带来巨大的压力，那些表现的不够好的学生将会被老师所忽略，以至于进入到心烦意乱的状态。考虑到这样的评测方式可能带来的灾难性的效果，很显然老师不应该根据学生的表现而决定自己的收入。
无老师平庸范例：Another concern that we should pay attention to this idea is that, if we really do this, teachers and students would irrationally look for the performance. It would lead to serious problem. For example, if we judge teacher in this way, he would at once have to make a decision: they his best to make his class perform well, or just perform a little better than other classes. And he may like the best performance student. The method of judgment may make everyone want the higher score, but students and teachers may lose the first purpose that they go to school, while performance become the only one purpose. Similarly, the competition in the students will give each student a lot of pressure, and the students who are not good enough will be ignored by the teachers, and they may be very sad. When we find that the method of judgement may lead to disaster, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid by their students’ performance.
其实高分作文和平庸作文的差别在哪里呢？想来想去，总是觉得很难用一个简单的词来进行描述，如果我们将其模糊化的话，或许高分作文与平庸作文的差别就在于，我们平庸的作文总是可以逐字的翻译成中文，但是高分作文总是很地道的浑然天成吧。比如说今天的高分作文，我们就会发现，原来某些含义，是有固定的词来表达的，但是当我们自己写的时候，总是用一些特别大众化的词，就显得我们的作文特别的“小学生”。我们与高分作文的差别，就好似“奶奶有了白头发”与“我知道凡是美丽的总不肯，也不会为谁停留”之间的差别吧。
首先第一句优秀范例Another thing to be worried about the statement is that, if actually carried out, both teachers and students would be cast into the irrational pursuit for performance thus results in serious problems.对比平庸范例：Another concern that we should pay attention to this idea is that,if we really do this, teachers and students would irrationally look for the performance. It would lead to serious problem.显然在一开始，优秀范例的Another thing to be worried about the statement is that和平庸范例的Another concern that we should pay attention to this idea is that两者平分秋色。但是接下来，显然优秀范例的carried out比平庸范例的do this的敷衍准确很多。接下来优秀范例的be cast into与irrational pursuit则是让我们感叹，原来还可以这样写的！至于最后的优秀范例的results in与平庸范例的lead to其实都还好，只是显然平庸范例最后的It would lead to serious problem.又是新起一句，显得连贯性不是很好。
接下来优秀范例发大招了！优秀范例：For example, a teacher evaluated in this way is immediately forced to make the decision: to push her class toward the best performance or at least better than the worst-performing class, and show preference to students who perform well.对比平庸范例For example, if we judge teacher in this way, he would at once have to make a decision: they his best to make his class perform well, or just perform a little better than other classes. And he may like the best performance student.首先优秀范例的evaluate这个词表示“评价”用的很准确，不像平庸范例就使用judge一个词用到底。而且我们向后看还会发现原来evaluate竟然还不是本句话的谓语，而仅仅是一个后置定语来修饰主语，顿觉原作者的凶悍！然后优秀范例接下来的immediately与be forced to一个表示时间的短暂，一个表示教师的无奈，画面感跃然纸上！然后优秀范例的push好像平淡无奇，但是对比平庸范例的make，我们顿时觉得，优秀范例的push将一个抽象的概念“使”转化为画面感很强的“推”，还真的有一点点“僧敲月下门”的感觉。然后再接下来优秀范例的at least好像是一退，但是后面的worst-performing表示“表现最差的班级”，显然比平庸范例的“other classes”准确得多，同时也显示出“教师”的无奈。而且最后原作者也没有简单的用like这样的泛泛的词，而是用了prefer这样的词，不仅如此还用了其的名词词性show preference to，顿时让我们觉得非常的书面化！
第三句，优秀范例Such measures might be incentives for a better grade, but the teacher and the students would lose their original motivation in schooling as performance becomes the one and only purpose.对比平庸范例The method of judgment may make everyone want the higher score, but students and teachers may lose the first purpose that they go to school, while performance become the only one purpose.优秀范例先用了一个such，沟通起了本句话与前面内容的逻辑，然后接下来又秀出一个measure对应前面的evaluate，环环相扣！漂亮！对比平庸范例的method of judgment就显得很臃肿了。然后接下来，优秀范例连出大招！be incentives for，original motivation，as performance becomes the one and only purpose一下就征服了阅卷的老师！完胜！如果不觉得很霸气的话，就对比一下平庸范例的make everyone want，first purpose和only one purpose，显然平庸范例是典型的拼凑而成！而优秀范例是实打实的浑然天成！我们就感觉，英语就该像优秀范例这么说，而平庸范例只是在邯郸学步而已，而且学得还超级蹩脚！
倒数第二句，优秀范例Also, consequent competition among students would place heavy pressure on every student, and the ones who do not perform well would be neglected by the teacher and fall into upset.对比平庸范例Similarly, the competition in the students will give each student a lot of pressure, and the students who are not good enough will be ignored by the teachers, and they may be very sad.优秀范例一开始就又出杀招。consequent competition，很显然，consequent扎样的词，我们只能想到去用consequentially这一种用法，但是作者不仅用到了他的形容词词性，而且还带到了前文的班级间的比较，进而引申到本句话的学生间的比较。逻辑成绩的非常棒！但是平庸范例，干巴巴的Similarly, the competition就少了这种传承的感觉。然后接下来的优秀范例的be neglected by与平庸范例的be ignored by，其实都很优秀，不过差别在最后又出现了，优秀范例的fall into upset对比平庸范例的may be very sad，显然优秀范例的fall into给人陷入万丈深渊的感觉，然后以upset作底，就感觉万丈深渊底下又是百尺钉板，真的是一下将人打入冷宫！马上要记下来！反观平庸范例的may be very sad就好像是从婴儿嘴里说出来的一般，味同嚼蜡。
最后一句，优秀范例Considering all the disastrous effect such measure could incur, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid on the basis of students’ performance.对比平庸范例When we find that the method of judgment may lead to disaster, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid by their students’ performance.显然，优秀范例的disastrous effect写的很给力！因为我们平时也就写bad effect或许更高级一点negative effect，但是优秀范例竟然可以祭出disastrous这样的词来表示效果的负面程度，堪称“毁灭级”，令人啧啧称奇！真的是我们的阅读量太小了！然后还要恨恨的感叹一下incur这个词，以前都不认识，原来是“招致”的意思，顿觉原作者的霸气啊！最后优秀范例的on the basis of也是很令人汗颜，因为我们最经常写的也就是based on，而且还觉得很漂亮了，但是原来还有on the basis of这样的表达方式，真的是气煞周郎啊！
优秀的作文，一定是建立在多读优秀原文的基础上的！无老师作文巨讲堂，在2013年一定要更上一层楼啊！
第二句就厉害了。优秀范例写的是And great efficiency is one fundamental way to success.平庸范例写的是The better efficiency is important to success.首先优秀返利的great就比平庸范例的better要好，因为great本身就有一种“比平庸的更好一点”的这种感觉，因此平庸范例的better就显得画蛇添足了。而且优秀范例的one fundamental way为我们的important开辟了一种新的表达方法，显得比较新颖，因为“更根本性的”方式，也就是“更重要的”方式。
第三句：优秀范例是We are able to make use of many tools increasing productivity today.再来看平庸范例Today, we may use the computer to improve our efficiency.这里的差别主要在于优秀范例用了make use of这个固定搭配。而且人们往往注意不到的是优秀范例还用了非谓语动词increasing，使得整个句子的逻辑性非常的连贯。
第四句优秀范例又发威了For instance, the computer plays an important role in our life in terms of efficiency.对比平庸范例For example, the computer is very important in the efficiency.显然优秀范例的plays an important role这个固定搭配用的很给力，而且最后的in terms of也是我们平时很难用到的，其实它往往可以直接换用in，但是我们一定要注意使用的语境，往往是表达“在……方面”的时候，才进行换用。
第五句优秀范例也是写的很给力As I want to search material concerning the “nuclear energy”, all I have to do is to type this term on Google and a great number of sources will pop out on the screen.平庸范例则是完败！When I want to find the “nuclear energy” material, all I need to do is imputing the word in the google, and then the information will show from the screen.优秀范例的As这个词不见得高级，但是贵在用词的多样化。然后优秀范例的material concerning the “nuclear energy”表示的是关于核能的相关信息和数据，但是平庸范例的“nuclear energy” material则有可能让人误解是制作核能的原材料。而且优秀范例的term这个词意思是“名词”就显得比平庸范例的“word”更为书面化，也更为准确。最后优秀范例的“pop out”更是显得十分的地道，而且有动感，可以说完胜平庸范例的show这个词。
然后下面的优秀范例“Given the past, I had to go to the library and bury me a couple of days looking for the information on nuclear energy without the assistance of computers.”也是比平庸范例的If we lived in the past, we have to go to the library to find the information about the “nuclear energy”, because we have the computer.漂亮很多。首先优秀范例头部的Given the past就用到了Given，表示“如果有（机会等）”的意思，这里也就是“如果是在过去”，显然比平庸范例的If we lived in the past漂亮多了。而且优秀范例的bury me a couple of days looking for写的也是十分的传神，颇似我们经常说的“把自己埋在书堆里”的感觉。只是优秀范例最后的without the assistance of computers虽然without用的简洁有力，但是稍显画蛇添足，其实去掉也是可以的。
至于最后一句话，优秀范例“The distance is conspicuous, thus modern people with advanced technology would succeed more readily. ”对比平庸范例The difference is very obvious, so the modern people who have high technology would easier to be successful.则是亮点不多。只是在advanced technology比平庸范例的high technology显得更地道，还有就是在最后的more readily显然比平庸范例的单纯的easier用词更为多样化。
无老师满分范例：The statement itself underlies a serious mistake – the very purpose of teaching and schooling, and education on a bigger scale, is better performance of all students. Common sense informs me that education, and teachers’ responsibility in particular, should be intended to build up students’ confidence in exploring and discovering unknown respects as well as specific skills required to accomplish that. Such standard is often broad and abstract in contrast to the narrowness and rigidity of the criterion – students’ performance. If teachers’ salary is determined by the students’ performance, this hint would destroy the long-term function of schooling and education since the system is short-sightedly targeted at improving students’ performance.
无老师优秀中文翻译：这样的陈述本身就有一个很大的错误，教学、学校教育本身的目的很大程度上来说，是所有学生应该整体的表现更好。常识告诉我们教育，尤其是老师的责任，应该是帮助学生建立自己在探索和发现未知领域和实现这些未知目标的所需要的特殊技能的自信心。这个的标准（探索未知领域）是宽泛的而且抽象的，与狭隘的和死板的学生分数这样一个标准恰恰相反。如果教师的薪水是由学生的表现所决定的，这样的暗示将会损害学校和教育的长远作用，因为这样的教育体系会很短视的将目标定位于提高学生的分数这一点上。
无老师平庸范例：This idea has a big wrong mistake, the purpose of the teaching, school, and education in a large extent is that all the students will have a good behavior. Everyone knows that education, particularly the duty of teachers, is helping the students to build the confidence in building their own ability of exploring and finding the unknown area and the unknown target. The standard is very wide and abstract, which are against the standard of the students’ score’s narrowness and rigidity. If the teachers’ wages is controlled by the students’ score, this means this will destroy the long effect of the school and the education, because the system will short-sightly focus on the improvement of the students’ score.
无老师精析：有的作文胜在固定搭配，有的作文胜在句式，这篇作文则是生在用词，在写平庸范例的过程中就很明显的发现，其他的作文我们可以很轻易的写出很烂的平庸范例，但是这篇文章我们却很难做到这一点，貌似只要是按照中文翻译来写，我们就只能写出与原文极为相似的文章。为什么呢？反思过后，发现本篇文章的优点就是在于用词准确，甚至可以成为精准！只要是用到一个词，它则是没有其他任何可以替代的单词，真是令人啧啧称奇！不过无老师到这里必须问一句：在没有中文翻译的情况下，你真的看懂优秀范文在说什么了么？
第一句：优秀范例飚出The statement itself underlies a serious mistake – the very purpose of teaching and schooling, and education on a bigger scale, is better performance of all students.从句式上来讲，平庸范例没有什么变化，只有在用词上小有变化。This idea has a big mistake, the purpose of the teaching, school, and education in a large extent is that all the students will have a good behavior.这里显然优秀范例用到了underlie这个词，这是我们很少用到的，平庸范例，只能勉强用到have这个词。其后的on a bigger scale则是写得很棒，对于前文进行进一步的修饰，要不是优秀范例里用到了这个表达方法，平庸范例很难写出来。
接下来优秀范例说的是Common sense informs me that education, and teachers’ responsibility in particular, should be intended to build up students’ confidence in exploring and discovering unknown respects as well as specific skills required to accomplish that.对比平庸范例everyone knows that education, particularly the duty of teachers, is helping the students to build the confidence in building their own ability of exploring and finding the unknown area and the unknown target.优秀范例引入了Common sense，想一想我们平时也都是很机械的写出everyone knows，水平差距太大，实在是羞愧！然后优秀范例又用了in particular进行强调，不禁要问，平时我们怎么就想不到呢？！其后的也是一样build up one’s confidence与unknown respect还有required to accomplish that都是很好地表达方法，不得不赞叹，优秀作文的中文功底也是了得啊！
第三句优秀范例再出撒手锏Such standard is often broad and abstract in contrast to the narrowness and rigidity of the criterion – students’ performance.对比平庸范例The standard is very wide and abstract, which are against the standard of the students’ score’s narrowness and rigidity.虽然两者之间没有什么差别，但是实际上还是因为优秀范例的用词太到位了！就像在伟人的带领下，我们永远都不会跑进烂泥沟一样，平庸范例也是不那么平庸了。而且貌似这句话可以当模板用，只需要把里面的students’ performance换为你想批判的主题即可。
最后一句话，优秀范文写的是If teachers’ salary is determined by the students’ performance, this hint would destroy the long-term function of schooling and education since the system is short-sightedly targeted at improving students’ performance.对比平庸范例If the teachers’ wages is controlled by the students’ score, this means this will destroy the long effect of the school and the education, because the system will short-sightly focus on the improvement of the students’ score.必须承认，优秀范文的hint这个词用得太残暴了！貌似是很多人这辈子都没想过用这个词！如果将this hint would翻译的比较到位的话，可以翻译为these events would lead to……太残暴了！太残暴了！优秀范文的功力非我等可以企及！其后的long-term与short-sightedly不仅用词准确，而且形成某种意义上的对比，真是令我等屌丝敬佩啊！有幸得赏此文，真乃幸事！
优秀范文真的是中文功底太到位了，再绝配上优秀的英文表达，望尘莫及！望尘莫及！这篇文章看看，能借用几个表达就好了，不要期望全盘模仿了，太难了。
无老师满分范例：The advices from our grandparents have no use for their grandchildren for the world has changed a lot in the past 50 years.
Recently, there has been a controversial topic debated by a lot of people about whether our grandparents are too out-of-date to give us advices concerning our problems. In my opinion, I still regard our grandparents as great tutors for our life in many aspects.
In the first place, some basic rules which have a great impact on people’s daily lives never changed as time flies. For example, appropriate behaviors in an official dinner or in an important interview which are often neglected by younger generations would sometimes leave others a great first impression. In such aspects, certain rules such as dressing codes as well as exact method of using forks and knives didn’t change in the last 50 years and probably will not change in the next century. I firmly believe that our grandparents could give us perfect advices concerning such information with experience accumulated for decades. Apart from basic routines when studying or working in a society, more mental tutoring can be provided by the older generation. For instance, when we are in an extremely down mood owing to all the depressions and frustrations received in schools or jobs, grandparents are always the best people we can go for comforts, love and most importantly some advices, which would not only give us some guidance for recovery but also more confidence for the lives in the future. What’s more, some education and advices that require decades of practical experience cannot be gained from other places but our grandparents, to name a few, how to maintain a good relationship with our supervisors and peers, how to stay humble and how to make a change when facing difficulties.
Admittedly, when given new objects, our grandparents could not alter to the new trends as we could, thus not being able to provide useful suggestions. For example, during the past 50 years, we came through the age of electricity and stepped into the era of information. Internet, smart phones and computers are filled in every corner of our daily lives. We have to admit that grandparents would not be able to give suggestions when we are in trouble with these new technologies or when we are in problems with specific characteristics of this generation. For instance, grandparents would not know how to give us advice about how to shop on the internet or how to handle an instant messenger. However, this would not constrain their capabilities of showing their wisdom in issues when we need them most.
All in all, although great changes have happened in the past 50 years, which would bring difficulties for our grandparents to give us tutoring in some aspects, they are still the best ones we could turn to for guidance whenever we are mentally weak or are in need for help from practical experience.
无老师优秀中文翻译：最近，有一个有争议的话题正在被很多人讨论，就是我们的祖辈是否是太过时了以至于不能对于我们的问题给出建议。在我看来，我仍然坚持祖辈在很多方面仍然是我们最好的人生导师。
第一点，对我们每日生活产生巨大影响的基本规则并未随着时间而改变。例如，经常被年青一代所忽略的在正式晚宴和重要访问上的得体的行为，有时会给人留下深刻的第一印象。在这些方面上，某些规则比如穿衣的规则，和使用刀叉的具体的方式，在过去五十年里没有改变过，而且很有可能在下个世纪也不会改变。我坚定地相信我们的祖辈会根据他们积累了几十年的经验给我们一些关于这些问题的完美建议。当我们在社会中学习和工作的时候，除了一些传统的途径，老一辈的人还会给我们一些精神上的指导。比如当我们因为在学校和工作中的一些沮丧和挫折而陷入极度的低沉的情绪之中，祖辈往往是最合适的人，可以给我们安慰、爱，以及最重要的建议，这不仅会给在恢复的路上给我们一些指引，同时也会给我们未来的路更多的信心。不仅如此，有些教育和建议是需要几十年的实际经验的，这都是除了我们的祖辈之外的其他地方都不会给我们的，比如如何确定一些细节，比如如何与上级和同事维持很好的关系，如何保持谦逊，以及当我们遇到困难的时候如何做出应对。
不过必须承认，当具体到新兴事物的时候，我们的祖辈并不能像我们一样很快的转向新的趋势，因此不能给我们有效的建议。比如，在过去50年里，我们经历了电力时代，进入了信息时代。互联网、智能手机、电脑充斥在我们日常生活的每一个角落。我们必须承认祖辈不能给我们建议，当我们在新技术面前束手无策的时候，亦或者是当我们在我们这一代所独有的特性的时候，祖辈也不能给建议。比如，祖辈对于如何在互联网上购物以及如何使用即时通讯工具这一点上就不知道怎么给我们建议。但是，在当我们最需要他们的时候，这一切的一些都不会限制他们显示出自己在处理复杂问题上的智慧的能力。
总而言之，虽然过去五十年已经发生了巨变，这些变革都会对祖辈给我们从这些方面指导产生一些干扰，他们仍然是最好的，我们可以寻求建议的导师，无论是我们在意志上很忧伤，亦或者是需要实践经验的时候。
无老师平庸范例：Recently, there is a controversial issue debated by many people, which is our grandparents are too old to give useful advices about our trouble. As far as I concern, I still think that our grandparents are still our best teachers in many fields.
Firstly, the rules which affect our life importantly do not change with the time changes. For example, the right behavior in the formal dinner and important interview which is often ignored by the young people sometimes may make a deep impression. In these fields, the way, such dressing manner or the way that we use knife and fork, does not change in the last 50 years, and may not change in the next century. I strongly believe that my grandparents will give me some prefect advices by the several years experience. When we study and work in the society, except the old ways, our grandparents will give us some spirit guide. For example, when we met some depression or frustration in school or work, we may turn into bad feeling, at this time, grandparents would be the best people who can give us comfort, love and some important advices. These would not only give some advices on our way to recovery, but also give us more confidence for the future. Besides, some education and advices need many years’ experience which could not provided by anyone but our grandparents, such as how to make sure some details, how to talk to boss or colleague to make a good relationship, how to keep modest, how to handle when we met some difficulties.
Admittedly, when we talk about the new things, our grandparents could not turn to the new trends, so they could not give useful advices. For example, in the past 50 years, we have experienced Electric Power Age towards the Information Age. The internet, cell-phone, and computer fill in each corner of our life. We have admitted that our grandparents could not give our advices, when we could not do anything in front of new technology, or when we face the new feature that are created in our generation. For example, grandparents could not give our advices on how to buy things on the internet, or on how to use the instant messenger. But, when we need them, all of these would not limit the talent of how they solve the complex problems.
All in all, even though there are lots of changes in the past 50 years, and these changes may affect the advices from our grandparents, grandparents are still the best teachers who we can ask advices in any time that we are very upset, or at the time that we need real experience.
第一段优秀范例彪悍的抛出Recently, there has been a controversial topic debated by a lot of people about whether our grandparents are too out-of-date to give us advices concerning our problems.看上去好像平淡无奇，但是在对比一下平庸范例Recently, there is a controversial issue debated by many people, which is our grandparents are too old to give useful advices about our trouble.就会发现原来优秀范例的about whether，其实比平庸范例的which is连接的更为顺畅，而且优秀范例的out-of-date也比平庸范例的old显得更为准确，确实不愧是优秀范例，然后我们竟然偶发现，平庸范例里，我们平时经常写的about其实是可以换位优秀范例里的concerning，顿时觉得，我们又掌握了一把好用的武器。
至于第一段最后一句话，优秀范例写的是In my opinion, I still regard our grandparents as great tutors for our life in many aspects.对比平庸范例As far as I concern, I still think that our grandparents are still our best teachers in many fields.显然great tutors是最大的亮点，因为在欧美tutor这个词往往指的是大学里面的助教，颇有手把手指导你的意思，因此特别的形象贴切！
第二段第一句优秀范例是In the first place, some basic rules which have a great impact on people’s daily lives never changed as time flies.对比平庸范例Firstly, the rules which affect our life importantly do not change with the time changes.这里优秀范例的In the first place显得词汇量更丰富一点。而且basic与daily两个限定词，使优秀范例显得特别的具体，准确。而且优秀范例最后的never changed与as time flies“永远不会改变”和“随着时间飞逝”使得文字颇有一点文学化的色彩，显得作者的阅读量不错。
然后优秀范例的例子来啦！For example, appropriate behaviors in an official dinner or in an important interview which are often neglected by younger generations would sometimes leave others a great first impression.对比平庸范例For example, the right behavior in the formal dinner and important interview which is often ignored by the young people sometimes may make a deep impression.对比平庸范例的right behavior，我们就会发现优秀范例的appropriate behaviors显得优秀范例的appropriate用的更准确，而不像是平庸范例的right这么泛泛。接下来平庸范例的young people对比优秀范例的younger generations也是同样的问题，就是词汇的指代太泛泛了，一点都不具体。至于优秀范例的leave others a great first impression则是写得很漂亮，给谁留下深刻的印象，用了一个leave，颇有意犹未尽的感觉。
下一句，优秀范例In such aspects, certain rules such as dressing codes as well as exact method of using forks and knives didn’t change in the last 50 years and probably will not change in the next century.对比平庸范例In these fields, the way, such dressing manner or the way that we use knife and fork, does not change in the last 50 years, and may not change in the next century.显然优秀范例的dressing codes写的很地道！code在这里取“行为准则”的意思。然后优秀范例又用了exact来修饰method，而不是单纯的像平庸范例用了一个way就敷衍过去，而且在这里，优秀范例的整个主语写的很饱满！certain rules such as dressing codes as well as exact method of using forks and knives整个是一个完整的主语，增加了句子的多样性的同时，也丰富了写作的细节！不仅如此，优秀范例又写了and probably will not change in the next century.来对前面的last 50 years进行扩展，一下使得优秀范例的视野闲得很宽阔，而且也显示出自己思想的饱满。
下一句，优秀范例写的是I firmly believe that our grandparents could give us perfect advices concerning such information with experience accumulated for decades.对比平庸范例I strongly believe that my grandparents will give me some prefect advices by the several years experience.首先优秀范例的firmly显然比strongly更加的书面一点！然后再接下来亮点就在优秀范例的修饰部分了！concerning such information with experience accumulated for decades，首先用concerning such information与前文的内容进行呼应，然后又用experience来解决，而且这个experience还是一个后置定语，也就是accumulated for decades积累了数十年的经验。再来对比平庸范例，就会觉得平庸范例的by the several years experience显得那么的中规中矩，根本没有句式的变化。
然后下面一句话，优秀范例Apart from basic routines when studying or working in a society, more mental tutoring can be provided by the older generation.对比平庸范例When we study and work in the society, except the old ways, our grandparents will give us some spirit guide.首先优秀范例用了Apart from与前文进行一个承接，然后引出新的一个主题，而且新的主题又用more来进行修饰，来将不同作用的级别进行了一个划分，使得文章很具有可读性，然后mental tutoring显然就比平庸范例的一个单纯的guide更具有准确性，因为guide，“指路”也是guide，学习方向的指导也是guide，甚至路边的指南手册都能是guide，显然guide范围太广，这里的tutor显然就更倾向于学术上的引导，因此更为准确。
然后本段倒数第二句，优秀范例For instance, when we are in an extremely down mood owing to all the depressions and frustrations received in schools or jobs, grandparents are always the best people we can go for comforts, love and most importantly some advices, which would not only give us some guidance for recovery but also more confidence for the lives in the future.对比平庸范例For example, when we met some depression or frustration in school or work, we may turn into bad feeling, at this time, grandparents would be the best people who can give us comfort, love and some important advices. These would not only give some advices on our way to recovery, but also give us more confidence for the future.首先extremely down mood这种表达方式与传统的bad feeling不同，增加了多样性，然后优秀作文用了go for这个表达方式，表示“寻求、追求”的意思，显得很地道。
第一段最后一句，优秀范文What’s more, some education and advices that require decades of practical experience cannot be gained from other places but our grandparents, to name a few, how to maintain a good relationship with our supervisors and peers, how to stay humble and how to make a change when facing difficulties.对比平庸范例Besides, some education and advices need many years’ experience which could not provided by anyone but our grandparents, such as how to make sure some details, how to talk to boss or colleague to make a good relationship, how to keep modest, how to handle when we met some difficulties.优秀范例首先发力，用decade显示出自己能驾驭更多的词汇，比平庸范例many years显得更正式。然后优秀范例和平庸范例共同用了一个not…but…的固定搭配，显得很有默契。然后再接下来，优秀范例的maintain a good relationship虽然不见的高明，但是毕竟增加了句子的多样性，至少也不坏，但是平庸范例的how to talk to就显得过于口语化了。不过接下来优秀范例用的stay humble就很地道了，一定要学会！最后优秀范例的make a change when facing difficulties虽然不见得多高明，但是make a change这样的表达方法我们就是想不到。
第三段第一句话，优秀范例Admittedly, when given new objects, our grandparents could not alter to the new trends as we could, thus not being able to provide useful suggestions.对比平庸范例Admittedly, when we talk about the new things, our grandparents could not turn to the new trends, so they could not give useful advices.首先优秀范例在when的从句里面进行了省略，只留给我们一个done的非谓语动词，然后又用new object相比于平庸范例的new thing这么大众化的单词，更为书面一点。
第二句话，优秀范例For example, during the past 50 years, we came through the age of electricity and stepped into the era of information. Internet, smart phones and computers are filled in every corner of our daily lives.对比平庸范例For example, in the past 50 years, we have experienced Electric Power Age towards the Information Age. The internet, cell-phone, and computer fill in each corner of our life.虽然优秀范例的came through并没有比平庸范例的experience，但是本篇文章当中出现了太多次experience了，因此出现了词汇替换，是加分点！然后接下来优秀范例stepped into the era of information对比平庸范例towards the Information Age，显然stepped into将时间加入了一点拟人化的感觉，而且后面用era来替代age，也是增加了词汇的多样性。最后的filled in every corner，虽然平庸范例也是这样写的，但是这主要是由于优秀范例本身的意境已经很好了，只要逐字逐句的翻译过来，必然是这样的表达方法，如果是我们自己写，很有可能写的是everywhere这样的大众词汇。
下面一句话优秀范例We have to admit that grandparents would not be able to give suggestions when we are in trouble with these new technologies or when we are in problems with specific characteristics of this generation.对比平庸范例We have admitted that our grandparents could not give our advices, when we could not do anything in front of new technology, or when we face the new feature that are created in our generation.优秀范例的亮点不多，仅有in trouble with这个固定搭配。和specific characteristics是内容写的很具体，很有说服力。
倒数第二段最后2句，优秀范例For instance, grandparents would not know how to give us advice about how to shop on the internet or how to handle an instant messenger. However, this would not constrain their capabilities of showing their wisdom in issues when we need them most.对比平庸范例For example, grandparents could not give our advices on how to buy things on the internet, or on how to use the instant messenger. But, when we need them, all of these would not limit the talent of how they solve the complex problems.优秀范例第一句话，首先是shop的动词名词化，然后对比平庸范例的use，我们发现这里的handle，写的很书面，再就是instant messenger让我们知道了QQ这样的即时通讯工具该怎么说。但是最后一句就写得超赞了！优秀范例想到了constrain 和capabilities这两个词，让平庸范例望尘莫及！然后再接下来对于“解决问题”，优秀范例又用了很文学化的表达方式“在处理问题时，显示出自己的智慧”showing their wisdom in issues，别说是英文，就连中文，我们都不一定能想出，真的是令人佩服！到这里估计很多筒子也就理解了，无老师曾经说过的：“托福考试是一个能力考试，就告诉你题目是《荷塘月色》，你真的能写出《荷塘月色》的水平么”这句话的含义了，很多考友都会找机经，但是机经到底作用几何，面对托福考试的时候，我们要仔细想想。
文章最后一段，优秀范例一气呵成All in all, although great changes have happened in the past 50 years, which would bring difficulties for our grandparents to give us tutoring in some aspects, they are still the best ones we could turn to for guidance whenever we are mentally weak or are in need for help from practical experience.对比平庸范例All in all, even though there are lots of changes in the past 50 years, and these changes may affect the advices from our grandparents, grandparents are still the best teachers who we can ask advices in any time that we are very upset, or at the time that we need real experience. 优秀范例首先将动词change名词化！亮点！时间in the past 50 years，具体且明确！亮点！tutor又是动词名词化！亮点！the best ones强调主题，也就是grandparent的重要性！亮点！turn to固定搭配！亮点！名词guidance，而不是反复的用help，词汇多样化，亮点！whenever能使用的词汇量很丰富！亮点！mentally weak表示情绪上的低沉，简单明快，表达方式新颖！亮点！are in need for固定搭配，且把need名词化，亮点！最后practical experience强调具体的实践经验，写得具体实际，就好像把对手拉到自己的战场上，然后用对这块战场丰富的经验，轻易的消灭对方！亮点！ 显然作者最后一段虽然不见得是费尽心机，但是亮点如此密集地呈现在我们的面前，怎能不得到高分！
无老师满分范例：It is undeniable that communication skill has vital functions in people’s success. For instance, in many business conferences, fluent and effective communication ability would always leave a good first impression on other people and help to establish a reliable relationship among business partners. Also, in political negotiations, possessing of a solid oral expression would give the government more lead in negotiation and prevent possible misunderstandings when discussing specific details. As is shown in all the examples above, good communication skill would bring great benefits for people when they are in an actual career thus giving them more chances to open the gate of success.
无老师优秀中文翻译：我们不可否认的是交流的能力在人的成功上有重要的作用。比如，在很多商务会议上，流畅的和高效的沟通能力常常会给其他人留下深刻的印象，会对你在商业伙伴之间建立一个牢靠的关系有所帮助。同样的，在政治谈判中，如果有一个坚定的语言表示将会在谈判中给政府带来更多的优势，以及可以防止有可能的误解当讨论特定的细节的时候。就像上面所有的例子所述，良好的沟通技能将会给人们带来很多的益处当他们进入真实的工作岗位的时候，会给他们提供更多的去打开成功大门的机会。
无老师平庸范例：We can not deny that the ability of communication is very important in the success. For example, in many business meeting, good and high effective ability of communication would give people deep feeling, this will make a stable relationship among the business workers. At the same time, in the political meeting, if you have a stable word, this will give government more advantage, and this will avoid some wrong understanding when we talk about some details. Just what I said above, good communication will bring many benefits when they come in to the work, and this will give them more chance to open success door.
好吧，这次平庸范例写的下手太狠了。看完之后如果吐了，大家可以买3瓶“泻停封”试一下，如果不行的话，请买第四瓶。-_-!!!不过其实这个平庸范例由于是无底线写的，反倒是写出了一些中国考友常见的错误，咱们下面就仔细的剖析一下两者的区别。
首先第一句：优秀范例写的是It is undeniable that communication skill has vital functions in people’s success.。对比平庸范例We can not deny that the ability of communication is very important in the success.两者对比，就表达方式上来说，在It is undeniable that与We can not deny that这个环节上两者差别不大。但是后面优秀范例的vital functions显然就比平庸范例的very important在词汇量上略大一些。
第二句，优秀范例For instance, in many business conferences, fluent and effective communication ability would always leave a good first impression on other people and help to establish a reliable relationship among business partners.对比平庸范例For example, in many business meeting, good and high effective ability of communication would give people deep feeling, this will make a stable relationship among the business workers.首先，显然优秀范例的conference比平庸范例的meeting更为准确一些，因为meeting表意很宽泛，可以表示会议，也可以表示集会，显然没有conference准确。接下来是一个很精彩的点，优秀范例写的是fluent and effective，对比平庸范例good and high effective。首先优秀范例的fluent这个词用得很准确，也显示作者的单词量很好。不过最精彩的是在后面！平庸范例的high effective相信是很多人常用的表达方式，但是我们会发现优秀范例竟然没有high。这其实就是典型的语言上的差别，亦或者说我们的单词书翻译的不准确，其实在英语里，effective这个单词本身就可以表示“高效率的”这层含义，完全没有必要再加上high，但是在背单词的时候，我们却不知道这个单词本身是有倾向性的，这就是为什么我们写不出地道的英文的一个原因。同理，低效的，也不是low effective，而是Inefficient。然后接下来优秀范例还为我们展示出“给人留下深刻的印象”，不是give people deep feeling，而是leave a good first impression on，固定搭配哦，亲们要记牢。最后优秀范例还有一个亮点就是“建立一个牢靠的关系”，作者十分到位的用了establish这个词，这个词给人的感觉就是，从无到有，一点一滴的积累而成，这里用来与“关系”这个词搭配，显得十分准确！
第三句，优秀范例Also, in political negotiations, possessing of a solid oral expression would give the government more lead in negotiation and prevent possible misunderstandings when discussing specific details.，对比平庸范例At the same time, in the political meeting, if you have a stable word, this will give government more advantage, and this will avoid some wrong understanding when we talk about some details.首先在这里，优秀范例用了一个小also，看似平淡无奇，但是很好的将前后两句话的逻辑串联了起来，颇有四两拨千斤的感觉。然后接下来优秀范例，又用了一个很精准的词negotiation将平庸范例所写的meeting范围大大缩小为“谈判”，一下子剑拔弩张的感觉就出来了。然后接下来，优秀范例的solid oral expression其实不是很地道，但是possessing of却是用的不错，很准确的表达出了“拥有XXX能力的感觉”。然后接下来，其实平庸范例已经写得很好了give government more advantage，但是优秀范例，竟然将lead这个常见的动词给名词化，来表示“领先位置”，还真的是棋高一招！在这后面，优秀范例写出了prevent possible misunderstandings，本身一个possible已经写得很漂亮了，表示这个误解有可能出现，也有可能不出现，用的很准确。然后接下来一个misunderstandings用的貌似平淡无奇，但是我们对比平庸范例的wrong understanding就发现我们其实平时写了如此之多的中式英语！人家英语里根本就不用wrong understanding这种表达方式，人家本身就有一个固定的词misunderstanding来表达了，只怪我们对英语太不了解了。最后优秀范例又用了一个小词specific来表示特定的，具体的细节，显得很准确。
最后一句话，优秀范例As is shown in all the examples above, good communication skill would bring great benefits for people when they are in an actual career thus giving them more chances to open the gate of success.对比平庸范例Just what I said above, good communication will bring many benefits when they come in to the work, and this will give them more chance to open success door.首先，优秀范例的they are in an actual career虽然写的也很生硬，但是比平庸范例的come in to the work还是稍好一点。然后优秀范例的亮点来了！优秀范例写的是thus giving them对比平庸范例and this will give them显然优秀范例thus+doing这样的连接，使前后逻辑连接的非常紧密！反观平庸范例的and this will give就显得中庸，但又让人提不起丝毫的兴趣。最后优秀范例用的是gate对比平庸范例的door，显然gate就有城门的厚重感，衬托出success的艰难，显得十分到位！
无老师满分范例：Another thing to be worried about the statement is that, if actually carried out, both teachers and students would be cast into the irrational pursuit for performance thus results in serious problems. For example, a teacher evaluated in this way is immediately forced to make the decision: to push her class toward the best performance or at least better than the worst-performing class, and show preference to students who perform well. Such measures might be incentives for a better grade, but the teacher and the students would lose their original motivation in schooling as performance becomes the one and only purpose. Also, consequent competition among students would place heavy pressure on every student, and the ones who do not perform well would be neglected by the teacher and fall into upset. Considering all the disastrous effect such measure could incur, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid on the basis of students’ performance.
无老师优秀中文翻译：另外一个关于这个想法需要担心的就是，如果真的实行的话，老师和学生都将会进入一个非理性的对于表现的追求，因此会导致很严重的问题。比如，一个老师以这种方式评价的话，会立即被迫做出这样的决定：督促自己的班级尽力的去表现，或者比表现最差的班级好一点，而且更喜欢那些表现很好的学生。这样的衡量的方式或许会成为追求更高的分数的推手，但是老师和学生都失去了上学的最原始的动机，当表现成为一个同时也是唯一的动机的时候。同样的，接下来的学生间的竞争将会对每个学生都带来巨大的压力，那些表现的不够好的学生将会被老师所忽略，以至于进入到心烦意乱的状态。考虑到这样的评测方式可能带来的灾难性的效果，很显然老师不应该根据学生的表现而决定自己的收入。
无老师平庸范例：Another concern that we should pay attention to this idea is that, if we really do this, teachers and students would irrationally look for the performance. It would lead to serious problem. For example, if we judge teacher in this way, he would at once have to make a decision: they his best to make his class perform well, or just perform a little better than other classes. And he may like the best performance student. The method of judgment may make everyone want the higher score, but students and teachers may lose the first purpose that they go to school, while performance become the only one purpose. Similarly, the competition in the students will give each student a lot of pressure, and the students who are not good enough will be ignored by the teachers, and they may be very sad. When we find that the method of judgement may lead to disaster, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid by their students’ performance.
其实高分作文和平庸作文的差别在哪里呢？想来想去，总是觉得很难用一个简单的词来进行描述，如果我们将其模糊化的话，或许高分作文与平庸作文的差别就在于，我们平庸的作文总是可以逐字的翻译成中文，但是高分作文总是很地道的浑然天成吧。比如说今天的高分作文，我们就会发现，原来某些含义，是有固定的词来表达的，但是当我们自己写的时候，总是用一些特别大众化的词，就显得我们的作文特别的“小学生”。我们与高分作文的差别，就好似“奶奶有了白头发”与“我知道凡是美丽的总不肯，也不会为谁停留”之间的差别吧。
首先第一句优秀范例Another thing to be worried about the statement is that, if actually carried out, both teachers and students would be cast into the irrational pursuit for performance thus results in serious problems.对比平庸范例：Another concern that we should pay attention to this idea is that,if we really do this, teachers and students would irrationally look for the performance. It would lead to serious problem.显然在一开始，优秀范例的Another thing to be worried about the statement is that和平庸范例的Another concern that we should pay attention to this idea is that两者平分秋色。但是接下来，显然优秀范例的carried out比平庸范例的do this的敷衍准确很多。接下来优秀范例的be cast into与irrational pursuit则是让我们感叹，原来还可以这样写的！至于最后的优秀范例的results in与平庸范例的lead to其实都还好，只是显然平庸范例最后的It would lead to serious problem.又是新起一句，显得连贯性不是很好。
接下来优秀范例发大招了！优秀范例：For example, a teacher evaluated in this way is immediately forced to make the decision: to push her class toward the best performance or at least better than the worst-performing class, and show preference to students who perform well.对比平庸范例For example, if we judge teacher in this way, he would at once have to make a decision: they his best to make his class perform well, or just perform a little better than other classes. And he may like the best performance student.首先优秀范例的evaluate这个词表示“评价”用的很准确，不像平庸范例就使用judge一个词用到底。而且我们向后看还会发现原来evaluate竟然还不是本句话的谓语，而仅仅是一个后置定语来修饰主语，顿觉原作者的凶悍！然后优秀范例接下来的immediately与be forced to一个表示时间的短暂，一个表示教师的无奈，画面感跃然纸上！然后优秀范例的push好像平淡无奇，但是对比平庸范例的make，我们顿时觉得，优秀范例的push将一个抽象的概念“使”转化为画面感很强的“推”，还真的有一点点“僧敲月下门”的感觉。然后再接下来优秀范例的at least好像是一退，但是后面的worst-performing表示“表现最差的班级”，显然比平庸范例的“other classes”准确得多，同时也显示出“教师”的无奈。而且最后原作者也没有简单的用like这样的泛泛的词，而是用了prefer这样的词，不仅如此还用了其的名词词性show preference to，顿时让我们觉得非常的书面化！
第三句，优秀范例Such measures might be incentives for a better grade, but the teacher and the students would lose their original motivation in schooling as performance becomes the one and only purpose.对比平庸范例The method of judgment may make everyone want the higher score, but students and teachers may lose the first purpose that they go to school, while performance become the only one purpose.优秀范例先用了一个such，沟通起了本句话与前面内容的逻辑，然后接下来又秀出一个measure对应前面的evaluate，环环相扣！漂亮！对比平庸范例的method of judgment就显得很臃肿了。然后接下来，优秀范例连出大招！be incentives for，original motivation，as performance becomes the one and only purpose一下就征服了阅卷的老师！完胜！如果不觉得很霸气的话，就对比一下平庸范例的make everyone want，first purpose和only one purpose，显然平庸范例是典型的拼凑而成！而优秀范例是实打实的浑然天成！我们就感觉，英语就该像优秀范例这么说，而平庸范例只是在邯郸学步而已，而且学得还超级蹩脚！
倒数第二句，优秀范例Also, consequent competition among students would place heavy pressure on every student, and the ones who do not perform well would be neglected by the teacher and fall into upset.对比平庸范例Similarly, the competition in the students will give each student a lot of pressure, and the students who are not good enough will be ignored by the teachers, and they may be very sad.优秀范例一开始就又出杀招。consequent competition，很显然，consequent扎样的词，我们只能想到去用consequentially这一种用法，但是作者不仅用到了他的形容词词性，而且还带到了前文的班级间的比较，进而引申到本句话的学生间的比较。逻辑成绩的非常棒！但是平庸范例，干巴巴的Similarly, the competition就少了这种传承的感觉。然后接下来的优秀范例的be neglected by与平庸范例的be ignored by，其实都很优秀，不过差别在最后又出现了，优秀范例的fall into upset对比平庸范例的may be very sad，显然优秀范例的fall into给人陷入万丈深渊的感觉，然后以upset作底，就感觉万丈深渊底下又是百尺钉板，真的是一下将人打入冷宫！马上要记下来！反观平庸范例的may be very sad就好像是从婴儿嘴里说出来的一般，味同嚼蜡。
最后一句，优秀范例Considering all the disastrous effect such measure could incur, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid on the basis of students’ performance.对比平庸范例When we find that the method of judgment may lead to disaster, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid by their students’ performance.显然，优秀范例的disastrous effect写的很给力！因为我们平时也就写bad effect或许更高级一点negative effect，但是优秀范例竟然可以祭出disastrous这样的词来表示效果的负面程度，堪称“毁灭级”，令人啧啧称奇！真的是我们的阅读量太小了！然后还要恨恨的感叹一下incur这个词，以前都不认识，原来是“招致”的意思，顿觉原作者的霸气啊！最后优秀范例的on the basis of也是很令人汗颜，因为我们最经常写的也就是based on，而且还觉得很漂亮了，但是原来还有on the basis of这样的表达方式，真的是气煞周郎啊！
优秀的作文，一定是建立在多读优秀原文的基础上的！无老师作文巨讲堂，在2013年一定要更上一层楼啊！