无老师题:这是一篇在太傻论坛已经火了2年的一篇帖子,里面的内容几乎得到了历任所有版主的首肯。无老师在看过了几千篇托福作文之后,回头再来看这篇文章的时候,也觉得这篇文章其实很有趣,也很有指导意义,只是内容稍显单薄,如果能加入更多的研究和例子,其实就更加的有指导意义了。比如在这里的第三条和第四条。“瞎编要编的像“和”自己的事例难写,最好不要写“就是非常好的两个tips,但是很遗憾,没有深入展开。无老师在这里就赘笔几句,希望不会出现太多的歧义。“瞎编要编的像“自然首先说的是不要犯低级错误,其实同时也是在支持第二条所说的“细节要注意!”下边的时候,要有时间有人群,最好还有数据,这样才能给人直观的感受!比如第四段的“ In 1970s, LBJ, the president of United States, passed a proposal which was called Clean Water Plan.”就是这样的例子。以及“自己的事例难写,最好不要写”,我们就可以从另外一个角度来解读,就是托福的作文是需要客观性和公正性的,如果拿自己的例子的话,就会显得客观性和说服力都不够好,因此一定要用其他人的例子来进行描述,这样才是显得有说服力的。这都是作文的初学者应该注意的。
当然我们从例文的最后一句话“The "Hell" with doctors and hospitals is always our last choice.”也可以看出来,其实文章作者的英语修为其实是很深厚的,但是这些写作的tips,其实是很有价值的!并不是一些只有高手能用到的技巧。尤其是这篇满分作文,很有借鉴意义!推荐那些希望积攒例子的考友们深入挖掘,各取所需。
解说已经很多,美味文章上桌喽!^_^
首先自我介绍一下……我考过4次托福(纯粹爱好,第一次分就够了)作文都是满分,SAT作文也是满分12分
今天就献丑给大家点小技巧吧~
说在前面:因为我词汇、语法、句法实在是不行,所以走的写作路线是纯平民路线,没有任何SAT词汇,句法貌似只有定语从句,所以很简单……英语基础和我一样低等的人也很好上手……所以~嘿嘿~
我不是英语高手,我只是作文帝
首先要搞明白的是,考试中的Essay永远不是抒情文、记叙文或者文学作品,而是议论文,是表现一个学生逻辑思考、思想深度以及行文结构表达方式的载体,所以记住的是“重要的不是你的句法、词汇,而是你的思想、结构。”
几个注意点
1.不要用长句。
新东方作文最牛逼的北京的史愚老师亲口教导我的,长句有两个问题,一是中国学生水平不够,很难写出语法没有错误、意思表达准确的长句,语法错误、几个逗号连用、倒装从句混合是经常的。二是看essay的人也是人,经常是那种大学生研究生,没人愿意看长句混在一起的文章,短剧更讨人喜欢,并且表达意思更加清晰,准确。
2.细节要注意
出现My brother, friend的时候要加上名字,出现university的时候要给上名字,给出事例的时候要给出时间地点人物,没人愿意看“我的弟弟去了一个大学,然后再大学里交了很多朋友,后来去了公司里那些朋友成为了他的财富”,而“我的弟弟Dan去了Upenn读书,在学校里认识了Jeff、Dennis等好朋友,而他后来去Google公司工作的时候发现了他们成为了自己一生宝贵的财富”比上面那句好了很多。实在要写流水账也要写出细节和感觉。
3.瞎编要编的像
不解释
4.自己的事例难写,最好不要写
5.积累,积累,再积累
没有积累和自己独立的想法,议论文写个吊?
下面就是926考的一题托福题,实在是想不出来考试时写的每句话,大概简短的还原一下当时写的东西,希望有所帮助
It is more important for government to pay attention to health care issues than environmental issues, do you agree or not?
(题目,环境保护和医疗改革哪个更重要)"Water and air are the sources of people's lives, and the bases of the world." This was said by the ancient greek philosopher Thales.(开头引用是最简单的,泰勒斯相信水和空气是最重要的元素,相似的话说过,稍加改动就可以出一个quote)(谢谢45楼的朋友纠正,是Thales说的,不是Hume)Looking at the dirty air in the sky, smelling the gross smell from Yantze River, I can't agree with him any more.(这就是搞笑的= =) The environmental issues are always the most important to a country, especially the country I live in, China.(可以适当点出我提出这个论点的原因,毕竟不存在完全客观的文章,主观因素客观环境都要适当强调)When the environment is becoming worse and worse, I have to say it is the most serious problem in this country. My junior high classmate , Anita, lived by the end of the Yangtze River. The industrial area is around there and all the factories pollute the water day by day. Unfortunately she got cancer, like many people who lived there.(真人真事,默哀一分钟) If the polluted environment wants to "kill" you, there is no doctor in this world can save us. Looking at her face in the funeral, I finally understood the importance of protecting environment.(真人真事要写出细节和感觉,否则很难不像流水账)It is always early to improve the health care, but never the environment. My dad is the president of the city hospital, and he always tells me "If the government gives us enough money, this hospital can be the best one in this country very quick by hiring best doctors and buying newest equipment."(真人语言描写,用他人的口说你想说的话) But we all know that the environment is always harder to save. After second industrial revolution in Britain, the pollution in Thames River became horrible. When the British government realized that problem, it took them tens of years to solve it.(用实例证明) Just like my mom always told me, " It's easy to make something dirty, really hard to make it clean again."It's kind of like the paradox, but many times, the environmental problems cause many health care issues.(一般考试都是二选一,有时候你会发现你选的那个其实可以导致或**没选的那个,也就是说这点要是点出来的话,就更证明你的论点的正确性了) Many datas do prove that, the people who live in a good environment have better quailities of lives. In 1970s, LBJ, the president of United States, passed a proposal which was called Clean Water Plan.(真事,积累) It was made to make the water clean in the US, and it did work. The most amazing thing is that the datas show the numbers of patients in hospital decreased rapidly during first 15 years.(瞎编,有一定的事实根据) That does prove my point, the environmental issue is a important factor of the health care issues.As I said, we do realize the seriousness and importance of the environmental issues. We do need a "Heaven" with clean water and air, green trees and beautiful mountains. The "Hell" with doctors and hospitals is always our last choice.(结尾很重要,搞笑、正经、引用都可以)
就这样,希望大家都成为作文帝……= =
答网友问:
1.我平时没有太多的积累或者说积累不够,快考试了,我该怎么办?
这种问题很普遍,毕竟积累不是一天两天甚至不是一年两年的事,所以我有这些建议。
现在来说积累来不及了的话,最后的冲刺阶段的话,就有目标的突击下例子吧,一般来说例子分两种
一是名人的事情,这类的话主要是要积累,当然我讲实话了如果实在没有的话,【编】也要比用一些不好或者说没特点的例子好,最后几天如果实在没时间的话我就建议,你背三个名人一个古代一个近代一个现代,比如汉尼拔、尼采、比尔盖茨,然后其他的事例你可以背了尽量往他们身上套嘛……(这是最后不得已用的招,毕竟你没有例子没办法,只能现编现套了, 当然了编的质量还是要靠你平时积累的例子和你看过的书籍啊电影啊之类的,此乃下策,不到万不得已千万不要用,伤RP~)
二就是身边人的例子,这类例子就可以随便编了,还是我文章中写的那样,越生动越详细越好,这种例子没有很大的感染力,靠的是【亲和力】,写出了人的共鸣就最好了
2.开头除了用quote,还可以怎么用?比如说科普类文章呢?
开头嘛,大部分我都是用quote起头的,如果是科技和专业知识类的文章,也是可以用quote的(下策就是编,你懂的= =),当然也可以用一点那种比较大的话比如说“Someone asked me about *****, after****, I finally get the answer. I believe that ***”这种比较大的话比较好开头吧,具体我也不太清楚因为我也没写过此类文章。 = =
原文出处:http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1352715-1-1.html
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